It takes a foreigner…

It takes a foreigner…

On 10/21/07 this country celebrated 15 years since I joined with the “tired, … poor,
…huddled masses yearning to breathe free”
when I first set foot at the Kansas City International Airport. I had a long journey in front of me, full of discoveries, surprises and even more surprises. I watched, I listened and learned about this country, people who live here and “The American dream”.
Over the years I learned that many things are not what they appeared to be from behind the iron curtain. As an old American saying goes: grass is always greener on the other side of the iron curtain. For example, Kansas City International Airport is not so much “international” and Yakov Smirnoff is not really a “dynamite Russian comedian”.
Being a foreigner (albeit an American Citizen for the past 10 years) automatically makes me an expert on all things American.
I don’t vote, and that gives me the right to bitch about the morons who elected current president, and all the other elected officials from senator down to mayor,as well as the morons who will elect the next batch of representatives. The only acceptable vote for the past 15 years would have been “none of the above” and I consistently voted that way by just sitting on my ass on election day.
English is my second language and that gives me the right to make up my own words and rules of grammar, as well as substitute any words I don’t know with a four-letter word of my choosing, and I am an expert in that area. I don’t want to hear any complaints about my English skills. I am a better speller than 99% of native speakers.
Over the years I was surprised to discover that unbelievable amounts of bullshit are being dumped on average American citizen on daily basis. Bullshit totally covers this country, clogs up hearts and minds of it’s citizens, controls policy matters, elections, education, medical care and love life. It takes a foreigner with a steady hand and a special shovel to uncover the truth from underneath the layers of bullshit lovingly piled on the average American. So here I am…. and I am ready.