You might have noticed more activity than usual on this here blog and it’s not because I am less lazy, but because the time is running out and I have less than a month to say everything I’ve ever wanted to say.

This fine specimen of the religious billboard art is located around Truman Rd. and HWY 71. Notice a Bible Seal of Approval at the top left and a person in the position painfully familiar to anyone who ever used a squat toilet at the bottom right.

In any case, I suggest you repent soon, use up your vacation and deplete your savings accounts.

You have been warned.

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Best Blogger

Kansas City With the Russian Accent

Kansas City With the Russian Accent, at kcmeesha.com, is the Web journal of a Russian Jewish expatriate who came to Kansas City in 1992. Meesha V. outwrites half the local native-English-speaking bloggers and outcharms most of the others with an original voice and smart, funny asides and observations that could occur only to a cultural latecomer. It doesn’t hurt that the anonymous author kicked off the first entry with jokes about the Iron Curtain and a repudiation of deeply unfunny Russian comic Yakov Smirnoff. Documenting life in Kansas City, Meesha also tells some pretty harrowing stories about growing up during the Soviet era, including the anxiety and fear he confronted during his mandatory induction into the Russian army at age 18, waiting to find out if he’d be stationed near his home or sent to Afghanistan. With one foot in the metro and one in Rossiyskaya Federatsiya, Kcmeesha.com is Kansas City’s best blog this year.

Wow! I am at a loss of words (it’s not that hard for me). I didn’t know that I was even being considered. I am not going to deny that this was a pleasant surprise. I don’t really think I am the best; it’s just that while much better bloggers switched to twittering one-liners I am still here typing away, mostly because I am too cheap to pay for the internet for my phone. I would like to thank many people who read this blog and especially the ones who collectively left over 1,700 comments over the past year. I know it’s not that many and The Readers’ Choice Best Blogger TKC (Congratulations, Tony!) gets that many in a day, but I appreciate every one of you who took the time to comment, participate in a poll or a caption contest, thanks for not being anonymous. I would like especially to thank XO because this site is more or less an extension of my comments on his blog almost a year ago. Many other bloggers who are linked here and even more in my Reader serve as the daily inspiration and also as my imaginary friends. Meeting and corresponding with many of you over the past year made worthwhile all the time that I spend in front of my laptop, 10 lbs of gained weight and no personal life.

This honor just goes to prove that the American Dream is still there for anyone who wants it, it just changed a little. Yes, I got here dreaming about owning a mansion, nice cars, maybe a yacht with a beach house and a small private plane; I got none of these things, and yet I can’t complain: having all this would have made me just another one of many rich people with awesome, care-free, amazing lives full of leisure, travel and entertainment. Instead, I am one of a few, but few of the best.

Thanks!

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Starting in 1954 the Sugar Information, Inc. published ads in the  Life Magazine and others promoting the health and weight-loss benefits of sugar. Of course in the 1950’s the sugar was delicious, healthy and local, not the corporate white death we have to eat today. Girls used it for an energy boost during a long school day; women used it for dieting so they can look good on the beach; men used it for penis enlargement …well, ads didn’t actually mention men so no one knows what they used it for.

I want that America back. Free of disgusting diet drinks and sugar-free Jell-O. Where sugar slimmed you down instead of making you fat. Where sugar cured diabetes and cancer. Where you could eat a teaspoon of sugar to keep you from getting hungry between other teaspoons of sugar. I want this awesome America back.

That’s why I will be voting for Ron Paul in November even if he is not on the ballot and I am not registered to vote.

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In the comments to my recent post about Khrushchev few people mentioned their memories of living under the “Soviet threat”, personified by the Soviet leaders like Khrushchev. I, on the other hand, don’t remember ever feeling threatened by the West. The news reports were always full of the stories about the Western aggressors running up their arsenals and meddling in the military conflicts around the world, but I don’t recall people around me ever being concerned about potential attacks. While the Americans were watching the “Red Dawn“, the Soviet people felt safe guarded by the Soviet Army directed by the ever-wise Communist Party of the Soviet Union.

In addition the the news reports and the shows depicting the hardships of the Western life, the Soviet government loved to use the satire against the capitalist enemy. Uncle Sam in a top hat, British Lion, Israeli Military “Clique” and others frequently appeared on the pages of satirical magazines such as Krokodil (Crocodile). The caricatures below were published in Krokodil in 1977 and this may be the first time some of them are seen in the West (captions translated by me). I have several years worth of the digitized magazines, and will post more if there is any interest.

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In my recent post about shopping in the USSR the following photo and its caption raised some questions about the shortages:

I implied that by the time when I was growing up® no elaborate displays or advertisements were necessary, items appeared in stores sporadically and people swept them off the shelves. Even everyday groceries like bread and milk  frequently required standing in line. Any imported clothes, perfume, shoes, and even toys had the lines snaking out of the door and around the block. Supplies depended on the city; Moscow where the government was located and frequently visited by foreigners was known for its well stocked stores with items that were never seen elsewhere. People from surrounding areas were making long-distance shopping trips to Moscow to stock up on food and imported hard-to-find retail goods. Those who lived too far from Moscow had to either know someone in retail or pay black market prices.

In the early 80’s standing in line was pretty much the norm of life. Once I was walking home from school in the 4th or 5th grade when I noticed a huge line to the kiosk selling mandarins. Mandarins were a rare find, available only in winter. I didn’t have any money with me so I got a spot in line and had a number scribbled on my hand to verify my place. Then I went home, got the money and was back before too long. By then the people were worried that the mandarins will run out and people in the back of the line would have to leave empty-handed. I showed my number and got back in line, although some people where not too happy that I came back. Even with me running home I still had to stand in line for several hours. Not sure if I wanted the mandarins so badly or just didn’t want to leave half-way to the end of the line. Somehow I remember this one night and tell this story often, and, of course, I am eating a mandarin as I type this.

The reason I remember standing in line that night is that I wasn’t exposed to shopping very often. My parents did their share of waiting in lines or found other ways of getting stuff they needed like farmer’s market for foods which weren’t that cheap or black market for other things. Knowing someone in retail or grocery store was a goldmine. These people knew when the deliveries were scheduled and could hold on to an item for their friends, relatives and people who were willing to overpay. There was also barter going on, a retail employee would trade a favor with a doctor who could in turn try to find a rare medicine, or an auto mechanic who had access to hard-to-procure spare parts. Trading favors and black market led to some items never appearing in the front of the stores for general public, they were gone as soon as the delivery truck left the dock.

And now for some photos. Unfortunately not too many people had a bright idea to photograph the lines and empty stores; in some cases it could be interpreted as some anti-Soviet activity. Many photos floating around the internet are taken from here and I found a few more elsewhere.

When people think socialism, they often have these images in mind, but in all truth this has nothing to do with socialism; this was the result of many years of corrupt power, terror, breeding out competition, trying to force rules and principles on people that were going against common sense and human nature. Labels applied to what was built in the USSR are irrelevant; was it communism, socialism or just a big lie – what difference does it make. The only thing that matters is learning something from this experience. Then the years the Soviet people spent standing in various lines would account for something.

My kid gets annoyed when I walk out of a store or a restaurant when I see too many people waiting in line. I tell her that all the time in my life that was allocated for standing in lines has been used up already and I have little patience for waiting in one.

And then I buy more mandarins.

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