On November 3, 1957 the Soviet Union launched Sputnik II timed to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the Great October Socialist Revolution. Sputnik II was bigger and better than Sputnik I and carried a dog Laika – the first animal to orbit the Earth.

The American headlines did not suffer from subtlety and political correctness at that time:

*closeup of the article.

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Recently through the magic of Facebook an article came to my attention. Bruised Kansas by Jeffrey Ann Goudie laments the transformation of the State of Kansas from a state on the forefront of racial equality and “proud history of women in politics” to a state where Governor Brownback autocratically imposes his “boilerplate political agenda”.

The only thing missing was one of those before and after photos that get passed around on the internet.

When I read the article, I kept thinking that the author must not be living in the same Kansas I live in; one can argue that Johnson County, KS is not representative of the entire state, but I am fairly familiar with a large part of it, having driven thousands of miles on my semi-frequent road trips to familiarize myself with the state where I made my home for the past 20 years. During that time I have met many Kansans, had candid conversations with countless acquaintances and coworkers not necessarily constrained by Codes of Business Conduct and unnecessary politeness, so I have a pretty good idea about the people I am surrounded with in my daily life, and, boy, is this state RED.

I’d be the first one to defend Kansas for being unfairly maligned, but not because the criticism and stereotyping is misplaced, but because, in most cases, it’s coming from places that are no better and not much further along on the scale of progress. I will never stop saying that people of Kansas are some of the most kind, helpful, compassionate people I’ve ever met. But boy, is this state RED.

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… when I am eating red borscht again. Since my daughter is unlikely to inherit any money, this recipe is probably all she is going to get, so she can cook it for some unlucky schmuck who will get me for a father-in-law.

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So you come home with 20 pounds of apples in a bag. No need to panic, I am here to tell you what to do. In about an hour or two you could be eating the best apple cake you have ever tried in your life. In fact, it so good that you will try to eat it all while declining tempting offers to exchange some of the cake for money and/or sexual favors. The cake is called “Sharlotka” and yes, there will be people who will tell you that this is not the right way to make it. Tell them to go f make their own Sharlotka, because this is the one and only way to make it and they don’t know what they are talking about. I would also like to warn “the creative types” not to post here with comments like “I added a pinch of salt to the recipe, some chicken, vegetables and a pie crust and now it’s a chicken pot pie”. I will ban you from this blog without regret.

For this recipe you will need a baking dish with flat bottom, some apples, 6 eggs, 1 cup of sugar and 1 cup of flour. That’s it.

Peel, core and slice the apples. If you are a lady, cut the apples into uniform cubes of about 1/4 inches. If you are a gentleman, reach for your favorite (apple-peeling) tool-device.

This machine cores, peels and slices the apples in one smooth motion. There is no excuse for not having it. Women and small children love it. Hack processed apples into smaller pieces. Peeled apples may brown after sitting on the counter. If you care, you can sprinkle them with lemon juice; I personally don’t care – it’s a cake,not a painting.

Place the apples into your baking dish. Here I clearly went overboard, peeling them was so much fun (unless you are a lady) that I went through a few too many. Don’t worry, you can never over-apple the apple cake.

Now proceed to separate the yolks from the whites. Whipping egg whites is easier if they are cold and no particles of yolks were accidentally mixed in. However, I did just that (not on purpose) and everything turned out OK. If you are an older person like me you would remember that back in the day we whipped egg whites with a whisk.  It was tedious, boring and exhausting process. Fancy households had mechanical egg beaters, still a hassle and lots of cranking. Then came electric mixers and only here my dream to own a stand mixer finally came true. If you have one, place egg whites in the bowl and slowly raise the speed to “high”. If you don’t have the right equipment you can use any of the lesser tools.

You will need to attain stiff peaks (not my stripper name) but it doesn’t have to be perfect. Slowly add sugar and continue whipping. The foam will become shiny and you will not be able to feel sugar crunch on your teeth. This may take 5 minutes or so.

Add egg yolks and whip some more.

Add flour and get it to blend in, no one likes unbaked chunks of flour in the cake, you won’t get any points for a crappy product. Pour the mixture on top of the apples and spread it evenly.

In a 350F preheated oven it goes for an hour. Leave it alone.

In the meantime you still have your apple peeler out and plenty more apples to use. Add a small amount of apple juice, Sprite, water of other tasty liquid to a sauce pan and place it on the medium-low heat. Peel and slice as many apples as will fit.

Pour some honey on top. Do not go crazy with it unless you like it too sweet.

Cover and cook on medium low until apples look and feel soft.

Use potato masher to make some apple sauce of the desired consistency.

Let it cool, it really burns when hot.

Now get the cake out of the oven. Test it by sticking a toothpick in the middle, if it comes out clean, you are done.

After the cake cools, get your favorite bottle of Homewood Hooch from the fridge and enjoy the cake.

And this (to quote John McCain), “my friends”, is how you bake “Sharlotka”.

Update: My blogger friend Johnna made her own gluten-free version.

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During my conversation with George Detsios he mentioned that his restaurant had a very short menu which included stuffed peppers and stuffed cabbage. Stuffed peppers are not hard to make and if you purchase the peppers at the City Market like I did for 3-for-a-dollar they are also very inexpensive. I am not sure if they will be as good as George’s but you wouldn’t know any better anyway.

First, assemble the ingredients and equipment. You will need 6 peppers, lean ground beef, a carrot, few stalks of celery, an onion,a handful of rice, a can of tomato juice, cooking (olive) oil, salt, pepper, large pot to hold the peppers, smaller pot to boil tomato juice and a skillet. If you have a choice pick the peppers other than green, they are sweeter.

Put a handful of rice into a small pot of water, heat it up until it just boils then rinse. Remove the tops from the peppers, clean out the seeds and wash the peppers inside and outside. Do not discard the tops.

Chop an onion, and saute on the skillet with (olive) oil until translucent and soft. Shred a carrot into the skillet and continue sauteing on the low heat.

During that time boil a pot of water, turn off the heat, put peppers with tops in the pot and let them soften up for a few minutes. Drain the water and remove peppers.

While the peppers are cooling, boil tomato juice. Adjust salt/sugar levels to taste.

Mix ground beef, onions and carrots from the skillet, shredded celery and a couple of handfuls of water. Add salt if needed.

Stuff the mixture into peppers. Do not try to fit as much meat into a pepper as you can, this is not a meat-stuffing contest. Place peppers into an empty pot and cover with tops.

If you still have leftover meat  – roll it into a meatball and place it in the pot with peppers.

Pour boiling tomato juice over peppers, bring to boil, then simmer for 20-30 minutes. The goal is to have the stuffing cooked without letting the peppers disintegrate.

Serve with sour cream.

Here are the rest of my photos.

Disclaimer:this blog assumes no responsibility if the words “stuffing meat” got you excited. Please move on.

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