Behind The Iron Curtain: This Post is Classified

This morning I drove past some weird-looking railroad machinery of unknown purpose. It reminded me of some machines I saw during my heroic two years in the military service. Most of these I have never seen in motion. Many of them were on so called conservation, which meant they were waiting for their time when enemy (that would be you – evil imperialist exploiters of working class) attacks. These machines were probably new many years ago when they first arrived, and one of our tasks was to maintain them in ready-to-start condition. Our job consisted mostly of sweeping around these things and painting them with another coat of green paint before some big shot would show up to party with our officers check it out. If they were not bulletproof before, 30-40 coats of paint certainly made up for that.

When I first arrived in this country almost 16 years ago, two guys possibly from the CIA made an appointment with me for the purpose of asking me “a few questions”. They attempted to do it in Russian, to which I replied that as much as my English sucks, their Russian was even worse (O, the Freedom of Speech) so we all laughed at how they are wasting their time debriefing some schmuck who dedicated two years of his life in the military to avoiding any responsibility and any semblance of work. I guess I didn’t know about government jobs then.

At the time of the interview I didn’t reveal any of the very classified secrets known to me. They didn’t even offer to buy me lunch for selling out the Motherland. So here I will do it for free.

This is a road-clearing machine BAT-M. It has a variety of tools allowing it to go into the epicenter of the nuclear explosion and clear or create a passage for the rest of the troops. It can fill up ravines and trenches, lift debris, create ramps if needed, it can also dig, trench, move heavy equipment or pull a tank out of the mud. Cabin is air-tight and has filtration system so the driver can live for a few more hours in the radiation-affected area. The one on this photo looks exactly like ones we had – peeling paint and all.

Next is MDK-2M – a machine that can dig a perfectly round hole in the ground. We had special corrugated metal assemblies that would go inside the hole to make it an instant shelter or an underground storage. This machine was also equipped for grading and other road-clearing tasks.

Fast-Moving Trench-Digging machine BTM-3 is designed to dig trenches up to 5 ft deep. It holds enough fuel for 350 miles of driving or 10-12 hours of trenching. The cabin is air-tight with filtered air allows the crew to be inside without additional protection while working in the radioactive or chemical-affected area.

Amphibious Transporter PTS is designed to transport troops and equipment across difficult terrain and water. Land speed is 42 km/h, speed on water is 12 km/h. It can transport up to 5 metric tons on land and up to 10 metric tons on water. Once I saw some idiot driver run over a car with the PTS by accident. It can literally go over some obstacles. On the video you can see some of its capabilities not in any way diminished by stupid red paint.

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