Everyone knows that the 1st generation immigrants are the great keepers of the American Traditions. From the time they get their copy of “How to become an American” handbook when they cross the border, they start religiously celebrating all of the American holidays from singing auld lang syne on the New Years Eve to consuming mass quantities of turkey and stuffing on the Thanksgiving day. It’s the immigrants who have real citizenship certificates signed and sealed by a federal judge and not a baby footprint. It’s the immigrants who can pass a 100 question civics test to become a citizen. It’s the immigrants who know that the second stanza of the National Anthem is not just humming. It’s the immigrants who can correct spelling errors for their American co-workers.
This explains why a flawless reenactment of the First Thanksgiving was performed at my house today; I might have thrown a piece of pork in the smoker, but otherwise – flawless.
As a Thanksgiving present to my less-certified American citizens I present a short video based on the poem personally composed by the Midtown Miscreant.