And the Winner Is…

After carefully reviewing all the entries I am awarding the valuable prize to Midtown Miscreant who is one of the gentlemen on the picture below.

The winning entry used every Russian-sounding word in known in America:

Boris Badenoff’s Borscht Breast Ointment.
Amazing Russian borscht breast enhancement ointment. Developed by doctor Boris Badenoff. After 20 applications the breast on the right is a C cup-ski, while the left breast which received a placebo is a paltry A cup-ski.
Contains a proprietary blend of Vodka, Beets and Chernobyl spring water.

Congratulations, Sir! Please email me your mailing address to receive your prize.
Chimpo is the runner up with the following entry:

Nothing soothes my soul after a long day at the office like a raw slice of potato dunked in some warm breast milk.

He qualified for the consolation prize: a 4-pack of Hoover Vacuum Bags of Type A (captures microscopic particles). Please email me to receive your prize.

The real caption on the poster is hard to translate.

Large letters at the top say: “Did you take care of your breasts?”. The sentence below translates “Temper your nipples by washing them with cold water daily”. I don’t know why you should “temper” your nipples, but thanks for playing.

  • Chimpo

    How are you going to email me vacuum bags? I’m cautiously suspicious.

  • DLC

    who’s the bald guy next to Micreant?

  • Chimpo:It says “email me” , I doesn’t say I’ll email you. I will actually spend money to send it to you.
    DLC: who is XO?

  • midtown miscreant

    I just want to take this opportunity to thank my parents for neglecting me which played a huge role in me turning out to be a first rate smart ass and a second rate criminal.
    I also want to give a heads up to everyone who reads my blog, if I fail to post by monday, go to Meesha’s house, and check for any new lampshades that have a silver goatee and or an asian dragon tattoo and have the distinct aroma of mary wanna or cool water cologne. Im still not convinced that this whole Red Lobster give away is on the up and up. Seems fishy to me.

  • Not midtown miscreant

    Who is that stud next to elvis. Women must be swooning all over the internet.

  • travel

    Midtown…remember he was in the KGB.