Farmer’s Almanac Spring Predictions

Only an idiot would believe all the Groundhog Day nonsense. First of all, WTF is a groundhog, who can spell the name of the place where he lives, what’s up with the top hats and all the crazy media coverage. Obviously, it’s a day when members of the press mail it in, submitting last year’s reports and talking about the whole retarded affair with serious faces right after the new unemployment reports and just before showing rockets being shot into Israel.

Everyone who has any common sense knows that there is only one sure-fire way to predict the warm weather and it’s not torturing strange animals. It’s motorcycle police. If on February 2 you see a motorcycle cop – the spring is near and I am happy to announce that I saw a moto-cop at least twice today.

Motorcycle Policeman Making Someone Very Happy, 2/2/09, Olathe, KS.
Motorcycle Policeman Making Someone Very Happy, 2/2/09, Olathe, KS.

Ladies and Gentlemen (but mostly Ladies), get ready for spring!