Mid-Week Updates

I expected a better turnout for the first ever contest with a valuable prize. So far my favorite entry is by Midtown Miscreant who used every Russian cliché known to an American in one paragraph. Unless someone comes up with a better entry by Friday, he will be on his way to Red Lobster. Coincidentally he started publishing his new and exciting Prison for Dummies series that is a must-read for everyone; you never know “when they come for you” and there is no CliffsNotes to cram when it’s to late.

According to the recent poll of 10 drivers only one of them claimed to be safe. The rest of us are reckless. However, if the last thing you see is a beautiful woman in a short skirt, that may not be the worst way to go.

I was going to mention the retarded “gas tax holiday” but here is a pretty good explanation why it’s not even funny that candidates who are seriously talking about it may be the next president of this country. I think the only reason this even gets mentioned is that Americans suck at math. Because otherwise they would be able to multiply 18 cents by a number of gallons of gas they use and determine that the “helping” hand of the Government is holding three wrinkled ten dollar bills and see the holiday for what it it is – pandering of the worst kind. That’s exactly the reason why I don’t vote – I can’t vote for a candidate who thinks I am a moron. It takes more than 30 bucks to buy my vote, maybe just a little respect would do.