The singer “was a virtual skeleton – barely eating and with only pills in his stomach at the time he died”, the paper said.

Imagine you are a coroner, crappy profession that it already is, your days are filled with horrible, bloody, disgustingly smelling, disfigured things that no one in the right state of mind would even want to be in the same building with, and instead of enjoying a nice sunny LA day you have to dissect a skeleton-looking, hairless, needle-ridden body of a weird celebrity. Not only do you have to chisel off the layers of plaster and artificial prosthetic parts, you for some ungodly reason have to cut his stomach open to see what he was eating before he croaked. It’s in the times like this that you must feel that you should’ve picked another specialty like a podiatrist or a proctologist, albeit their worldview is somewhat constricted.

That’s why I think every person should carry a card at all times with the contents of their stomach for the past 48 hours as a way to make the job of forensic pathologists just a little bit easier.

Let’s see, today my stomach contains:

• a cup of coffee
• cheese and turkey sandwich
• a orange/apricot jelly (from Bermuda) and toast
• cherries
• persimmon
• apple
• some frozen yogurt from Yummo (mix of 3 flavors) because they don’t sell Korean tacos on Monday
• chicken patty
• a piece of dried banana
• salad (Caesar dressing)
• cheese quesadilla
• corn
• some lemonade
• a piece of Tippins coconut-creme pie

I think that’s it. There maybe some leftovers of this cinnamon roll from Barb’s Kolache Bakery in Shawnee from a couple of days ago
and just a little bit of the cherry kolache ( I gave the other ones away)

but that’s just being too thorough.

See this is not so hard.
Maybe your coroner will be grateful for not having to dig through your rotting guts and will not “leak” embarrassing details of your autopsy to the media. In my book, that’s just paying it forward.

I can testify that some of these jokes are pretty authentic. I grew up at a time when nothing like this would ever show up in print and people almost whispered these, as we called them, anecdotes to each other at home, at work or at school. Later on, thousands of these jokes were published in books and on the internet but the spice was gone, although some still remain pretty funny.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN3z3eSVG7A

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xjv082CPz9g

I noticed this fountain this morning with about 8 feet of foam on the top. By the time I was back to take a picture someone, obviously without a sense of humor, turned it off. Still a nice combination snow-white foam and flowers.

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

I have a camera too, you know.
This composition is called “Another Forecast Screw-up”. In it we see a local weatherman staring at the snow he didn’t predict. He is bent under the heavy guilt and curses of the TV viewers. The sculptor expressed heavy burden of being a failed meteorologist through the tense back muscles and a somber pose. Viewer could almost feel the weatherman thinking: “I should have listened to my parents and went to a law school”.
Stone, snow, shuttlecocks. Author unknown.

The next composition is called “Flower Power Melts The Snow”.
Rusted Car, Snow, Trees. Donated by D&C Scrapyards.

This photo is called “See a Man About A Horse”. In it we observe three major components: a group of submerged lights which signify the word “see”, a man and a horse. The lights are submerged in the vessels with water. The artist wanted to show how electric hazard affects the other components of the composition. Does it scare a man? A horse? We don’t know.The calmness reflects the thought that the man and the horse in the photo don’t know anything about electric safety. Maybe the horse actually knows something because it’s looking away. The man is clueless though.

Man, Horse, Electric Hazard. Donated by the Fire Department.

Lastly, I took this photo of a journal where visitors are encouraged to leave their thoughts.
No Comment.

This recipe is really easy and results in a spread or a dip, name it as you wish. Eggplant is delicious and good for you in a variety of ways including weight loss:

Don’t include too many eggplants in your diet if you’re interested in: Weight gain.

In other words, if you stay with the eggplant diet you will finally be able to attain that figure you were dreaming about, all the while consuming tasty eggplant recipes.

This recipe contains 2 eggplants, dill, garlic and mayonnaise – if you don’t like these ingredients separately or in combination, please move along.

Remove green ends from the eggplants and place them in a pot of boiling salted water.

Sometime during the cooking process try to turn the eggplants over, they will resist and try to flip back, one of you will eventually win, hopefully not the eggplant. You may want to use the lid for that purpose. Check periodically,when a toothpick goes through the eggplant without much effort, they are done. Time depends on the size and shape of your eggplant (if you know what I mean) but definitely over 20 minutes. Just keep checking. Remove from the pot. The next step is to press the eggplant. Place a cooling rack into the sink. Cut multiple slits into the skin of the eggplant lengthwise.

You need some weight to extract as much moisture out of the eggplant as you can. One possible way to do it is to place a cutting board on top of the eggplant and weigh it down with a pot of water.

Two hours later the eggplant should look fairly flat.

I use the meat grinder to chop the eggplant, you can use the food processor, just don’t pulverize it, you are not making toothpaste, it should retain texture. Add plenty of chopped dill, a little mayonnaise and as much garlic as you deem appropriate. Some salt and pepper to taste.

The final product looks like this and can be consumed with crackers or bread, in sandwiches, or on its own.

Warning: In case of extreme weight loss please discontinue.