>

Kansas City Billboard News

Few billboards in town that were not bought up by the multilevel marketer Google Fiber.

Seeing this billboard inspired me to open my own all-natural breast cancer prevention clinic. During the daylight hours, women are welcome to receive a preventative dose of sunlight on my driveway, absolutely free. Please arrive topless for the best effect.

Yes, the beer is atrocious, but I still like the art.

Every parent knows: when your son turns 13, it’s time to have a talk about alcohol. Just like when you see a naked statue in a park, you need to drop what you were doing and recite an entire “Sex for Dummies” book to your five-year old. No one said parenting ain’t hard.

Talking to a 13-year old about alcohol is not easy. Do you tell him that beer is better than wine? Warn him about not buying cheap vodka in plastic bottles? Share your family recipe for a killer Manhattan? Do you mention the beer goggles? This is serious, life-altering information and dispensed incorrectly can harm your child for the rest of his life.

Fear not! Anheuser-Bush hired a “professional certified parent coach” M.J. Corcoran to dispense some grade-A parenting advice. Why ask M.J. Corcoran, when any parent whose child is currently not in the penitentiary system could be  considered a coach (you should read this if you haven’t)?  Because she offers many important pearls of wisdom like:

<<A tip from professional parent coach, M.J. Corcoran:>>
As teens prepare for the summer months and increased freedom, be sure to set clear ground rules regarding your expectations and the consequences of breaking these rules.

and

<<A tip from professional parent coach, MJ Corcoran:>>
Be sure to check in with your teens when they’re out for the night. Text messages are good, but a phone call is even better.

or

Take time out to congratulate your kids and tell them how proud you are of them. As parents sometimes it’s easy to focus on your kid’s missteps and not on the good decisions they’ve made. – MJ Corcoran, Parenting Coach

Obviously things that normally don’t cross your mind and only a certified coach would know.

So when you sit your child down for the most serious talk of his life you will not be alone. M.J will be holding your hand (figuratively I think, but I am not sure).

When it’s all over, have another Bud, you deserved it…