Sunday Prayer

Dear Lord,
I know I said I don’t believe in you many, many times. And it’s true. I am one of those stubborn hard-to-convince people who want to see some proof, or facts, or at least a small-to-a-medium miracle. But then I thought I am not being fair to you, Lord, by not giving you a chance, so here is the list of people I’d like you to strike down and I promise to show up wherever you want me to be – synagogue or a church on the nearest day of prayer and, I know it’s hard to believe, contribute money to your urgent needs. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want those people dead or hurt, well, maybe some of them; I just want you to send them a sign that they are doing something wrong in this life and they should stop or the next time your lightening bolt won’t miss them by three feet.

Please, Lord, make a believer out of me:

  • Tracy Thomas – a local marketer who specializes in annoying radio commercials.
  • Ray Vincent – who won’t shut up about low mortgage rates.
  • Ted Heater with CarSmart who always needs to sell an odd number of cars by an arbitrary deadline.
  • People who make commercials rewording Christmas songs.
  • Any business with the word “granny” in its name.
  • People who slow down the passing lane on the highway every morning and afternoon.
  • People who play Christmas music at work and don’t use headphones.
  • People over the age of 8 who use the words “yummy” and “nom”.
  • People who stay home when it snows and tell everyone else how they are excited to see it.
  • This one person at wredacted.
  • Seems like this list should be much longer, just take a guess.

Lord, I will be here waiting impatiently for any reports of you performing these small and, I am sure, effortless for you miracles in the near future.

Yours, hopefully heathen for not much longer,


Published by kcmeesha

From the bowels of the communist Motherland thrust into soulless grind of gears of capitalism. Only accent and good looks survive.