Old joke: 3 women stand in line to buy cucumbers. The first one says: I’d like my cucumbers long and thin. The second one says:I like my cucumbers short,thick and with a little curve. The third one says: I don’t give a shit,I just need them for a salad.

As always I was perusing personals in my spare time, I ran into one that said:

– modern in dress (you don’t still wear tapered Levi’s)

I ran to my closet just to realize that since I removed tags I have no idea what kind of Levi’s I own. Jeans are great American invention and I wear them 99.9% of the time and I probably should be buried in them. However, some son of a bitch meddled with greatness and now there aisles full off jeans each one is different not only in size and color (as it should be) but also in straightness of the leg, tightness in the butt, and whatever else you could think off. When I was a kid jeans cost my parents’ 2 month salary. Needless to say that I didn’t have jeans until I was 14 or 15.
My criteria for buying jeans are always the same:

  1. They have to have 2 (two) pant legs
  2. They have to be on sale.

Yesterday I bought a pair of fashionable Calvin Klein jeans at Costco for $22. They satisfy both of the conditions above. Now I am concerned, but I already threw away the tags so there is no way to tell what kind they are.
Just another reason I will die alone.