Due to my bad memory I now have to write down the things that grind my gear-skiy, which grinds my gear-skiy even more. So lets just get to this month’s edition:
Any business with the words “granny” or “grandma” in the name should immediately be shut down by authorities for not passing the “stress test”. There is some mortgage company whose radio commercials start with the words “Kids? Granny!”. This is one granny I can’t wait to see dead.
People who list every ingredient in their meal adding the word “organic” to it, something like “I got two slices of organic whole grain hand-ground bread, one half of an organic free-roaming hormone-less chicken breast on top, with an organic home-grown tomato and topped it off with an organic, non-GM slow-mixed dressing”. Makes me wanna eat something with a good helping of fertilizer and die.
White people who accentuate their super-correct pronunciation of Spanish words and names. Something like “Viarrrragosssssssa“. Concentrate on the other 4 Spanish words you know: taco, burrrrrrrito, cerveza and “¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!“.
Have you ever walked into a grocery store to the smell you imagine to be the smell of hell, where the combination of fire, brimstone and sinners being fried produce a distinct unbearable stench? Then you have witnessed a food demonstrator who can’t cook. It’s hard to believe what one (old) person with an electric skillet can do to stink up a store the size of a football field. This doesn’t apply to food-sampling people at Costco who only demonstrate the foods with pleasantly delicious smells.
Have you seen these electronic billboards along the highway that seem to change every 30 seconds? Sometimes it takes me 3 days to get the whole ad; most of the time I catch the beginning, middle or the end of the display in random order, not that it matters – most of them are for either Dane or David Cook (I’ll have to drive by few more times to see which one for sure). By the way, if you paid for tickets to see Dane Cook, I don’t mind losing you as a reader.
People who put bible verse numbers on their license plates. Let me get my pocket reference bible out to find out which verse you are quoting – about the “eye for an eye” (EX 21:23-27) or about not eating pork (Leviticus 11:7-8). How about just sticking with generic state-issued numbers or something less cryptic like:
And now, since we are on the photo portion of this post, here are a few more:
If you visit The Pitch’s website, this picture is probably very familiar to you, it was their illustration to the article about people who overcame the rickets.
Lastly, I am a big fan of all things multitasking, like this new supplement which can help you eliminate two opposite conditions – constipation and diarrhea, not to mention urgency. To that I say: genius! Next in the pipeline: drugs that simultaneously cure baldness and excessive hair growth, reduce and increase appetite, and always popular supplement to treat insomnia and help you stay awake at the same time.
In my day there was no entertainment, we had to quilt all day long and listen to Eunice’s old jokes every day; that damn Eunice, I get a heartburn just thinking about her.
In my day we couldn’t afford the rubber tires, you were lucky to get round wheels on your tractor. Have you ever tried tractoring with square wheels? I thought so!
In 1989 I was in the military and the events in Berlin went largely unnoticed in our little installation. We watched the news as long as it didn’t distract us from the our main occupation – counting days until the discharge. 20 years later, when the excitement of breaking down a hated symbol of the Cold War died down many people are still not sure if it was a good thing.
In the end, the Wall couldn’t really exist any longer and the resentment most likely resides in the generation who had to bear the brunt of the reunification and all the hardships associated with it. History is moving along and today is a good day to take a look back at the way it was just a short 20 years ago. The image below was painted in 1990, later destroyed and was being repainted last summer.
The best and the funniest movie about that time is the award-winning Good Bye Lenin! It’s truly worth suffering through the subtitles.
First, a short organizational announcement: I am trying to see if I can run a caption contest on my FB page, but so far there is only one participant and a winner by default. Feel free to join in. Next time I’ll just run it here.
Driving through Kansas is never very exciting. While there are many historic sites and things to see, they are pretty well spaced out, separated by miles and miles of endless fields and roads stabbing the horizon. Even by Kansas standards 200 miles between Kansas City and Hutchinson are pretty boring. Only few places made an effort to lure the passing traveler but even I, usually curious about all the rural wonders, wasn’t going to get off the road to see the “Rhino Capital of Kansas”. We did a 5-minute detour in Peabody, KS which posted several signs announcing its main attraction 1880’s Main Street. The Main Street looked exactly like every other small town in Eastern Kansas, most of which were built around the same time. Instead, I liked this house and that’s all I have to say about Peabody, KS.
Due to my bad memory I now have to write down the things that grind my gear-skiy, which grinds my gear-skiy even more. So lets just get to this month’s edition:
The image below was painted in 1990, later destroyed and was being repainted last summer.
