I wonder if there is a rating scale for potholes similar to the F-Scale for tornadoes or the Richter Scale for earthquakes. If there isn’t one, I’d like to propose a Kansas City Pothole Scale to commemorate this City’s contribution to the subject of road damage. I’ll leave it to the scientists to decide if potholes should be rated based on their size or on a potential vehicle damage from a minor bump (K-1) to a complete disappearance of the vehicle as described in the Bible “and the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up” (definitely a K-10).
Every day I have to maneuver around this crater of a pothole on my way to work, wondering if one wrong turn will send me on my way to the center of the Earth, or at least a little closer to it.
As you can see, there are visible remains of the previous handiwork done by the highly trained professionals working for the City.
It’s hard to tell but the tape measure in the photo is extended to almost three feet to give you some dimension perspective.
It’s not just a hole in the ground. There seems to be a cave underneath it. Maybe it’s an old mine, or an unknown entrance to the abandoned underground tunnel, or an end of the secret escape route leading to the Mayor’s office.
I didn’t feel like spelunking my way down there on a gray Saturday morning.
Few days ago someone placed an orange warning sign around this pothole but it swallowed the City property overnight. You can see the remains of the sign deep down in the abyss.
During my annual griping about the KCMO Earnings Tax, someone never fails to point out that it’s only fair that I pay my fair share for the roads and wonderful amenities I am using while I am in Kansas City. Stupidity of this argument aside, I think I paid enough during my 10 years of employment to fill this hole with cash.
This article explains that you may have a small chance of the City compensating you for the damage to your vehicle caused by a pothole; coverage may be provided by the Missouri Public Entity Risk Management Fund. Obviously I am not qualified to provide any advice, do your own research.
In the meantime, please exercise caution on this intersection of the 6th and Cherry, you’ll find the giant pothole next to the property tax-free building.
Recent IKEA meatball news hit me hard. I’ve been a fan since the first time I’ve tried them years ago. And even though I stopped buying IKEA meatballs when my kid decided to stop eating pork, it’s still pretty sad. Not that I care about eating horse meat, I am sure I unknowingly ate it more than once during my lifetime. If anything, this proves my long-held belief that we get too much information about the food we eat, with all the ingredient lists and nutrition tables. What we don’t know doesn’t hurt us.
This caricature is by Sergei Yelkin – a Russian cartoonist whose blog I’ve been following for years. I just translated the labels to share with the English-speaking audience. If you would like to see the original Russian version, please click here.
Several billboards showed up along I35 from an organization seeking to promote hiring people with disabilities. I am not sure how effective their billboard investment will be, considering that relatively small amount of people who drive on the highway are in position to make hiring decisions. Nevertheless, I like their slogan “Think Beyond the Label” illustrated by an unfortunate white guy who is labeled “Rhythm Impaired”.
That made me think about other labels that are unfair like “white man can’t jump”, “white men don’t have a sense of rhythm” and “once you go black, you can’t go back”.
Apparently elsewhere people will pay forty bucks for a pickling class while I’ve been just giving this stuff away. I am pretty sure this kind of thinking led to the birth of the prostitution, but unlike these enterprising women (and men) I keep doing it for free for the love of the craft. And what’s not to love: pickling transforms ordinary fruits and vegetables that will probably rot in the dark corner of your refrigerator into a delicious food that goes well with everything (especially with hard liquor), keeps well and pretty effortless to make.
If you ever tried revolting, cloyingly sweet, mouth-puckering watermelon pickles you might have seen in the grocery store, you are probably not in a hurry to repeat this horrifying experience, which, if your Mom was right, would have left a permanent grimace of disgust on your face. On the other hand, Russian pickled watermelons are a delicious refreshing treat. Originally watermelons were pickled whole in wooden barrels, but I suggest you start slow before digging up a root cellar in your backyard, buying 100-gallon barrels and stocking up on watermelons.
How many times have you purchased a watermelon that was not so great – pale and not very sweet? You are too tight to throw it away, so you do the next best thing – make your kids eat it, or invite omnivorous guests. Pickling will greatly improve your reputation of an evil parent or a stingy host. For this recipe you will need a jar, a watermelon (thinner rind preferred but not required), water and salt.
By the way, don’t you hate when you buy a seedless watermelon and it’s full of seeds? I guess we differ on our definition of the word “occasional”.
Slice the watermelon in chunks sized to fit in your jar; actually any container will do, pickled watermelon loves creativity. Place in the jar.
Now dissolve 2 tablespoons of (kosher) salt per 1 liter (or quart) of water…
…and pour in the jar until the watermelon pieces are covered. If necessary, make more solution keeping the proportion of salt to water. If you don’t have kosher salt, any salt would work, but iodized salt may affect the color of the end product.
Cover loosely and leave on the counter for 2-4 days; things will start happening, maybe some bubbles, or even a white-looking film will appear on top of the brine. Don’t worry, as they say in the health-food stores: “It’s all natural”; just skim it off the top. After a few days place in the fridge.
Next time you have guests, you don’t have to feed them an unripened watermelon, instead offer them a slice of pickled watermelon with their meal. They will beg to come back again.
If you want to progress to the real thing that looks like this:
Just to think that I just gave this away for free, next time I will ask for a dinner and a movie first.
