1. I did a local meme and checked out the new downtown grocery store. While I was pretty impressed with various lunch options, I think they missed another money-making opportunity. They could sell tickets to observe sushi-eating douchebags in their natural habitat, conveniently located right in the middle of the store. Couple of couches and some pop-corn is all that’s needed for douchebag-watching which provides countless hours of entertainment while the home-grown sushi connoisseurs are getting mercury poisoning in real time.

2. This one is more of an RFP. I would like to have a device such as when I yell at other drivers they can actually hear me. I feel like I have a lot of valuable information to share, some great zingers and one-liners, as well as timely observations about their driving, and it’s not fair that all this just bounces off my windshield. This has a potential to become a valuable tool which will revolutionize on-the-road communications and help other idiots with their driving.