International Women's Day

The 8th of March is almost near us,
My heart is pounding away.
Don’t let me down, trusty penis
On International Women’s Day.
Russian Folklore (Free Translation by Me)

Every spring starts with sunshine, melting snow, more revealing clothes on the most beautiful women and the International Women’s Day on March 8.

International Women’s Day is a holiday for all women; it doesn’t single out mothers or women who have diamond-bearing men in their lives. Instead it celebrates every woman: a woman living alone with multiple cats pets, a woman who doesn’t get invited to romantic dinners, a scary woman at work, a cigarette-smelling waitress at the Waffle House who calls you “hon” and even the woman holding a “slow” sign in the highway work zone. These women may not look like models or be pleasant to deal with, but that doesn’t mean they should be excluded from a holiday based on arbitrary prerequisites such as having children or being in a relationship. That’s why I am surprised this holiday is virtually unknown in the US even though it was first introduced here in 1909.

All kidding aside, women make our lives happy and exciting, they surround us with beauty and give us a reason to go on, they give us great memories and make our hearts pound. Making a woman laugh is one of the greatest pleasures of life and it never gets old.

This year I am posting this a few days early so you can plan your upcoming celebrations, purchase flowers and presents, as well as locate and hug your nearest woman and, while she is calling the police, try to convince her you were just trying to congratulate her with the International Women’s Day.

Happy International Women’s Day!

This song is called “Million Red Roses”

Previously: 2009

P.S. I always wanted to translate the poem you see above this post and I have to say I am pretty proud of myself.

  • …couple of things:

    first off, mama singing about roses is sooooooo much more acceptable than the vid of the insane Russian Gomer pyle making the rounds, so thank you for that;

    second…holy shit! you ruskies invented the orphan-waif that nearly destroyed legitmate black-velvet art in the late 70s and early 80s?!?! for this alone you should be deported!

  • Nick,this reminds me I should write a post in defense of the guy who things on seemingly every website today and I am a sworn-in bona fide American citizen with a real certificate to prove it. I cannot be deported.In the worst case I can become a governor of California.

  • yeah yeah; your certificate, my shellback card and $2 would buy a bad cuppa…

    and as for Mr. Can I Please Have More Lithium Now, hey – it’s okay. EVERYONE has relatives they don’t want to admit to.

  • Well I’m all for it. I have to admit, it’s the first I’ve heard of it, but now that I know I’ll be putting the word out amongst the inner circle so that those for whom the day was created can partake in all the advantages (me). In fact, I think I’ll plan something really special that day. I might even make it a whole week of celebration. (And I’m not referring to the poem that you claim you translated, but I suspect you completely made up)

  • I swear it’s a true poem.

  • My life is dedicated to the endless praise of the females…. but, if they are so wise, why can’t they figure me out???? Oh wait,

  • oh, Allochka is so fitting here (God, I was 4 then..)

    did you know that the day is in fact quite widely celebrated by Italians??

    • Italians love women and drinking so why not.

  • Donna Wood

    You made this woman laugh today with the poem.  So score one for you.