Is It A Fork In Your Screen, Or You Just Wanted To Screw Me?

0401_hdr1Recently I watched a blogger video review of the AMC Fork &Screen that was so exuberant that in the end I was expecting the author to kneel down and have a “sexy time” with the person who gave him a free ticket. In the end he announced that AMC knows how to handle the “social media” (obviously by giving away free tickets to bloggers and twitterers). Since I am not a member of any media, here is my “Top Ten Reasons I Don’t Like Fork & Screen” unadulterated by freebies and special treatment:

  1. You don’t have a choice of seating if your movie is shown only in the Fork &Screen section.
  2. You are FORCED to buy $5 worth of food.
  3. Hardly anything on the overpriced menu is under $5.
  4. The lights never go off, which you wouldn’t normally tolerate.
  5. Because the lights are always on, you can’t make out with your date, unless you want to become the center of attention.
  6. You cannot lift the armrest to get closer to your date.
  7. Servers walk around during the movie, which would be frowned upon in the normal theater.
  8. You can hear leather seats squeak and other people eat.
  9. Tables obstruct the view of the bottom of the screen (where subtitles may be shown) unless you are over 6 feet tall or sit straight up at all times.
  10. Higher d-bag -to- normal person ratio than in regular seating areas.

In the future, on the rare occasions I am actually going to the movie theater I will avoid Fork & Screen which is neither about a “fork” nor a “screen”. It combines marginal movie-watching experience with mediocre overpriced food.

You, however, may like the place if you

  • use words such as “ambiance” and “atmosphere” in reference to restaurants and other venues.
  • prefer Whole Foods, Target and Starbucks to Walmart, Walmart and …Walmart.
  • wear a beret to a French movie and refer to the movie as “cinema”.
  • Now that’s a little harsh…

    …but pretty funny.

    Honestly, I wouldn’t say that the food is of the 3-star Michelin quality, but their fries and homemade potato chips are really good. The burgers are decent enough. Plus, you can use that $5 toward your drinks if you want. I’m just sayin’.

  • Owen

    Hope that’s not describing me. I remember being very skeptical when I went. I hope they make it but I thought it should just be drinks. No servers. Just cheap drinks like a comedy show or a theater in Europe.

  • Not harsh at all… I call this an accurate review. I was not down with the ambiance!

  • I’ve been twice (once to Fork and Screen and once to the Cinema Suites)–the food blows, and there was a fly in my wine.

    I returned the wine and ordered a bottled beer instead.

    She still charged me for the ($9) wine, but not the ($4) beer.

    She was an idiot.

  • rubigimlet

    I’ve gone once to fork and screen. i agree on the seat height being a problem. My food was good tho. I had salad and fries which aren’t that hard, but the drink was some foofy thing and wasn’t worth the 9 dollars or whatever. After adding everything up tho, we didn’t spend any more money than if we’d have gone to a restaurant outside of the theater, and since it’s in Olathe, most of the surrounding food places are the same combo of mediocre/overpriced, I thought it was a wash. I agree on the drinks only thing, logtar. Mostly becz the servers were dipshits and had to keep coming in over and over and talking with people to settle up their bills. I mean, seriously, we’re all leaving at the same time, can’t that be handled after the movie?
    Still, good review.

  • Bull E. Vard

    The whole thing is so distracting with all the people walking around and the lights being halfway up. But, I absolutely adore drinking a beer during my movie. The Fork & Screen has its place, but it is not my preferred place to see a movie.

    I know exactly the review you wrote about and if I knew it would be so cheap to get a metaphorical blowie I would buy the “reviewer” a beer.

  • I don’t go to “the movies,” I go watch films.

    • Emaw I have to keep up with this Russian accent shtick

  • Pingback: Manipulating Social Media | Kansas City With The Russian Accent()