Homey Don’t Eat That Crap!

in_living_color_homey_the_clown_dont_play_dat-t-linkRecently State of Missouri made an announcement about repealing some old ban on “yellow-tinted imitation butter and the other restrictions imposed on the sale, possession or shipment of substitute sandwich spread that is a different hue”. The question is why would anyone want to eat this crap in the first place. I understand that the law was written for different reasons but I wouldn’t mind them actually enforcing it to get fake products out of our grocery stores. And while they are at it, they might as well get rid of

  • disgusting turkey bacon
  • any food that has the word “flavored” in it’s name
  • products that have ingredients that can’t be explained
  • things that have artificial coloring (I wonder what their real color is)
  • fruits and vegetables possessing some unnatural characteristics such as crunchy tomatoes and strawberries
  • breads that can be compressed to 1/10 of original volume
  • anything in green packaging, green doesn’t mean healthy, it’s just a color
  • no-fat sour cream
  • rename rice- and soy-milk into rice- and soy-juice or whatever; it’s not milk even if it’s white
  • non-dairy dairy products
  • artificial powdered coffee creamer, WTF is that made of anyway
  • cheese in a can and powdered cheese
  • stop McRib comebacks

I am not a believer in things that are “good for you”, or “locavores”, or “slow foods”, or whatever else is in fashion right now. I do believe that if you want butter, you should eat butter, not some yellow crap in a tub. If you are unable to eat some foods due to health reasons, just enjoy something else, don’t eat fake chemical concoction designed in the lab to fool your senses.

In these times when most of our activities had been replaced by imaginary and virtual things, maybe we should draw the line at fake foods. Homey don’t eat that crap!

UPDATE: How could I forget the scam that  is organic food. Thanks, L.L.!