• Gefilte Fish 101

    It’s been a few months since I wrote about Gefilte Fish and, as I expected, impatient requests for the recipe did not pour into my mailbox. It doesn’t matter, you are getting it anyway; I am not letting good pictures go to waste.

    Before you start, get yourself into the fish-making mood by listening to the music like this.

    httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzAuTcFcd3g&start=89

    Now that you are ready, collect all of the ingredients. You will need some fish, customary is to use carp and its relatives, pike and walleye. 3/4 lbs of yellow onions for every 2 lbs of fish. Onions should have nice dry brown skins, which give the fish darker color. We laugh at the people who use carrots for that, that’s a huge faux pas. Also needed is a slice of bread, a small amount of oil, salt and pepper and 4-5 eggs, depending on the amount of fish.

    On the day when we went fish-shopping, carp was not available. I wanted to drive to another store, but my aunt suggested we buy mackerel. Long time ago fresh mackerel was available in Odessa, where we used to live, and my aunt used it before for the gefilte fish. In retrospect, I suggest you stick with carp – mackerel sold here is previously frozen and even in it’s best days has a strong fishy smell when cooked. However, the process is the same and that’s what important.

    Purchase the fish. I recommend not going overboard for the first time. 2 medium carps will suffice. Imagine those are skinny long carps.

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  • Summer Gourmet: Garlicky Eggplant-Tomato Sandwiches

    I could’ve used my 800th post on something worthwhile like my thoughts on health-care or bitching about the first day of school moving even closer to the last day of school, but I’ll post another recipe. After all, the health-care is not going anywhere and school already started, but the eggplant season may be over at any time.

    This is probably the simplest recipe you will find on this blog. You will need only 6 ingredients: eggplant, tomatoes, flour, (olive) oil, garlic and salt.

    When picking an eggplant try to get an evenly shaped one so the slices are similar in size. Slice the eggplant in about 1/4 inch slices.

    Dust with flour on both sides…

    …salt lightly and place in the skillet on medium-low heat with a pretty decent amount of oil in it. If you salt the eggplant beforehand it will start losing liquid and shrivel.

    Cook eggplant on both sides. It doesn’t need to brown, just poke it with a knife or a fork, if it easily goes in – it’s ready. Remove on paper towels and cook another batch.

    The eggplant seems to soak up great quantities of oil, keep adding as needed. While the eggplant is cooking, slice some ripe tomatoes.

    Assemble the final product-a slice of eggplant, a slice of tomato, pressed garlic to taste.

    I ate everything you see on this plate by myself in one setting.

    This could be a side-dish, or a Hors d’œuvre, also called “zakuska” in Russian – something that goes well after a cold shot of vodka. Just as good or better on the next day. Keep refrigerated.

    Now pour yourself an aforementioned shot of vodka, drink it, eat an eggplant-tomato sandwich. Do you still want to argue about health-care or schools? Repeat. How about now? I didn’t think so. At this point you would start singing a Russian folk song but since you can’t how about this one, it sounds equally stupid.

    httpvh://youtu.be/wV3ZRPoJcZw

    The rest of the photos:

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  • Who Are The Ad Wizards Who Came Up With This One?

    The ad wizards who thought it was a great idea to put small print on a highway billboard came up with another gem.
    P1020501
    Here are my suggestions for the future billboards:

    • My car kicked your car’s rear end;
    • My car’s big black tailpipe is longer than your car’s tailpipe;
    • My car took away your car’s gas money;
    • My car swallowed a luxury car and now it craps exhausts luxury;
    • My car voted for McCain;

    If you come up with your own winning caption I will throw in up to 700 miles for your choice of a magazine subscription.

    Continuing with the subject of advertising if your child is composing/performing a jingle about the hemorrhoid treatment  center, you are within your rights to demand back all the money you’ve spent on the music lessons. (the jingle starts on the 20th second of the clip).

    httpvh://youtu.be/e4fzO9whly8

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  • Old Photos: The Redistribution of U.S. Wealth

    I found this 1946 Life Magazine article while searching for vintage Kansas photos (the article features a farmer from Shawnee County, KS and a future post is forthcoming). We frequently hear about the way it used to be, stable middle class of the past, high taxes on the wealthy and many other economic and cultural realities that were lost over the past 60 years. The article briefly touches on several segments of the post-war society, their roles in the economy and their material well-being. The language of the article is strikingly similar to what we see in the media today. Over time, the classes described in the article were redefined or disappeared; rich people are not content with just two Cadillac’s; no one is paying two thirds of their income in taxes; and $12,000 a year does not equate to being successful. There is one notable exception: the teachers are still being screwed. Anyway, the article is short, enjoy.

    The redistribution of U.S. Wealth

    Taxes, unions and higher prices are making the man with a large income Poorer and the poorer man richer.

    Published in the Life Magazine December 16, 1946 p91.

    ©Life ©Time Inc.
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  • Care And Safety of Women While Camping

    Care and safety of women during camping trips is an important subject that’s often overlooked. If your woman looks good, other men will try to steal her away from you. She may also use the outdoors, your relaxed state and heavy alcohol intake to escape. There are multiple other dangers lurking in the seemingly peaceful wooded and lake areas. To avoid potential pitfalls it’s best to tie your woman to a heavy unmovable object such as a tree or a post:

    The type of the knot you use is very important: some women are crafty and will untie an easy knot before you know it. Remember your boyscout years; here is some detail from the photo above:

    If you have a young child, place him on a tree with the rifle in clear view of your woman as an extra precaution:

    After your woman is secured you can finally proceed to do what camping is really all about: getting drunk, ogling other untied women and trying not to lose your brand new boat.

    This safety tip was brought to you by:

    Truck Antlers: Don’t Be A Schmuck, Turn You Truck Into A Buck!

    Additional financing by:
    Giant Fish-Looking Mailboxes: Who Is A Pussy Now?  I Am Talking To You, You God Damn Mailman Son-Of-A-Bitch!

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